Inspirational peacemaker and African Road Changemaker, Philbert Kalisa welcomed gender reconciliation training to Kiberinka, Rwanda. Participants were trained by experts Dominic Misolo and Sean Callaghan in partnership with African Road and thanks to the generosity of the Imago Dei Fund.

Rwanda has made incredible strides with healing and reconciliation after the Rwandan Genocide against the Tutsis. It also has the highest representation of women in government in the world, however, domestic violence and treatment of girls and women in the home and society continues to be a big challenge. There is still a need to equip leaders to change societal thinking about the role of women in society and family.

Philbert set up REACH in 1996 as a direct response to the Rwandan Genocide and the societal division that he witnessed. In the last 22 years, REACH has transformed enemies into friends and addressed the root causes of division through conflict resolution.

We interviewed Philbert Khalisa to find out how this recent training had been received and what his hopes are for the future.

 

  1. Tell us a little about yourself and how long have you have worked to bring and build reconciliation? 

I am Philbert Kalisa, Anglican clergyman in Rwanda, ordained in 1989, married with 3 children. I have been Founder and Executive Director of REACH Organisation in Rwanda since 1996.

 

  1. Why do you think reconciliation is important? 

Our country experienced conflicts and genocide for years and many people were killed, leaving orphans, widows and widowers. Many were handicapped, physically and emotionally traumatized, there was hate amongst people and communities were divided.

Without reconciliation there is no peace, no freedom and no life.

Conflicts are universal, different Nations have different issues at different levels, but often they start with families, gender, religions, race.           

 

  1. What prompted your decision to have gender reconciliation training? 

The issue of Gender reconciliation came from the feedback and evaluation that REACH conducted in 3 districts on field. REACH members shared how domestic violence and repression of women and girls, caused by stress in families due to conflict about gender roles, is a big problem for them. They thanked REACH for helping them in their process of healing and reconciliation, but requested that some training on gender reconciliation is needed to save families.

There is a radical cultural shift in Rwanda where women are empowered and given high positions of authority, which made some men intimidated because they were not used to see women in high positions.

The law in Rwanda has been changed and now women could inherit land and wealth from her parents, while before only men were allowed. Registration of land now is 50% for a husband and 50% for a wife.

Though these changes are good, it has been hard for some people to accept it in that way. This has caused a lot of conflicts and misunderstandings in our society, and the best way to address this is to organize training so that spouses and families are given opportunities to learn together, about how gender equity and equality is the best way for our society.             

 

4. How did the training work and who ran it? 

The training went very well indeed. Participants enjoyed learning about new ways to understand healthy roles and this was the first for most of them. Sean Callaghan and Dominic Misolo, both, trainers from Africa, were the trainers and they did a good job. 

 

5.What was the outcome and impact of the training? 

Participants were interested and requested to have more training; they were challenged, touched, inspired and transformed. There were some confessions and commitments made for change. 

 

6. Do you have any direct quotes from attendees of the training, about their experience? 

An Anglican pastor confessed and wanted to change the way he preaches in wedding ceremonies.  He always insists on women submitting to their husbands and giving them high respect, but he doesn’t say much about men to respect and love their wives. 

One Father has 7 children (6 boys and 1 girl). He confessed that he would always ask his daughter to help in the home, even if it took her out of school. Yet 2 boys are much older and had nothing to do apart from watching TV and playing football.

He said, “This is not fair and I don’t know how I didn’t realise that injustice! This training came at the right time and once I get home I will ask forgiveness from my daughter and will have a family meeting to look into this.”        

 

  1. What are your hopes for gender reconciliation in the future?

I see REACH having a wider program on gender equity, running it in the whole country and beyond. I hope to see different NGO’s and institutions requesting REACH to train and commission them to run the same program and for there to be more equality.

 

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